A lot has changed since the last time I updated this. I always go in cycles with this. Sort of like my life--it's cyclical in nature. There are so many things that I've done that I regret--and many things that I don't regret at all these past few months. First of all--I'm finally 21. A new world has presented itself to me, and I've been taking advantage of everything it has to offer. This may have caused some of my problems--I'll just blame it on the goose--if only that was a solid excuse.

I'm to put it simply--flighty. I don't understand relationships--I guess I just haven't had anyone who's really made me want to be in one recently. There was one exception to that--but my flightiness got in the way--and I hurt him. Which is unfortunate because he deserves way better than me. I just don't know how to change to make myself better. I don't know why I do it. I make excuses. I'm a chronic excuse maker. It's just how I operate--and make myself feel better about the decisions that I make. I need to stop.

I think I just have a lot of inner-conflicts that I need to work out. But I don't know how to begin, or how to change. It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks--but I'm learning. I need to learn to stay. To stay with someone. It's an awful analogy--and really cliche--but it works for me right now.

Life is just one confusing mess. I'm supposed to be finding myself--but all I seem to find is myself getting more and more confused.

Sigh, school has started...and already I've done too much work for it. AND it's sadly only the first week. I may or may not already be in over my head. We shall see...the only class i'm truly worried about is spanish 3015...which may or may not kick my ass this semester. I already did some of the readings for the class, and it went alright! I think I just need to pull myself together and not be so afraid of it, and I'll get through it just fine.

Other than that not much has happened. Delfi the devil kitten is still being devilish. Annie came for a visit and we had some hilarious drunken times at the Saloon. Went on a few dates, but no dice really. Don't see that going anywhere. Which happens, no hard feelings.

Sad, this is sort of a lame update...but nothing exciting has happened. Besides basically not having a job...i'm on the hunt for a new one. Know of anything let me know ASAP!

Why is cleaning so therapeutic? I love the feeling of a clean house, and that's exactly what I did this afternoon. I cleaned house. There may be a few reasons for doing so, well I'd gotten lazy the past few days and let it go, and I have a date tonight. EEE...*insert noise of a 12 year old girl screaming here*...so I'm pretty excited, and not so nervous actually. I'm not going to say anymore on that topic, because I don't like to talk about things until after I've done them, especially fun & important things like that.

So I took my LPE yesterday. It went well me thinks. Well minus the fact that I had lispy Mc lispersons as my Oral Proctor. Ughhhh I hate him, and had hoped that I'd never have to see him again. So hopefully my spanish rambles were enough to give me a passing score on that part, because I was so nervous and flustered that he was my proctor. I find out tomorrow. EEEEEEKKKKKKK.

I joined a gym finally. Already, I feel so much better about life. I stepped on the scale the other day at the gym, and saw that I've officially lost over 100 pounds. Isn't that insane? That's a whole person, if the person is Megan or Sarah...haha. Actually, that's more than Sarah weighs. I feel as if I'm going to become a gym rat....which I'm not sure at this point if that's a good or a bad thing. We shall see!

I'm going home this weekend! I'm not sure how I feel about that one either--due to the fact that I just came out to my brother--I don't know if it's going to make thing's awkward. But I don't think so. I'll be attending Briana's wedding reception. And am pretty excited for it, to see her and everyone else I haven't seen since basically high school, or the summer after we graduated. Most of all I can't wait to see the shock on peoples faces when they see me now. Most of them haven't seen me since I lost all the weight. Yep, I'm vain--and can't wait for the compliments.

Anyways, I'm off to run to target to get a gift card for Briana--then to the gym. Told you I was addicted, but mostly I just want to look hot for tonight...ahaha.

Until I write again...

Haha this song, while in spanish fits me perfectly right now. I'm done with Matt (some would say finally) and this fits everything with him.


Corazón Perdido - Absent Heart
Fanny Lú

Ya no me duele, estar contigo
It no longer hurts, being with you
Estar contigo solo duele un poquitito
Being with you only hurts a little
Y que me diga, que aún me quiere
And if he tells me, he still loves me
Yo ya no me trago nada de lo que me tiene
I don't buy* anything he has for me anymore

Después de todo, ha sucedido
After all, it has happened
Él no tiene nada de lo que yo había pedido
He does not have anything I asked for
Y con el tiempo me he convencido
And as time goes by I have become convinced
Á mi corazón nunca le falta los latidos
My heart never misses a beat
[Bridge]

Tú, y solo tú
You, and only you
Pelaste el cobre justo a tiempo pa' que no cayera yo
You showed your true self* just in time so that I would not fall
Afortunada las que no comimos cuento
Fortunate are we who did not fall for* the story
[Coro]

Mira que este corazón, mi pobre corazón
See this heart, my poor heart
Ya no me duele
It no longer hurts
Remendado de a poquito reparando este rotito
Gradually it mended, repairing this little hole
Ya no me duele
It no longer hurts
Mira que este corazón, palpita a millón
See this heart, it's going a million
Ya no te quiere
It no longer loves you
Ya te acordarás de mi, al verme partir
You will remember me, upon seeing me leave
Que un corazón herido es corazón perdido
Because a wounded heart is an absent heart
[Segundo Verso] [Second Verse]

Yo que pensaba, que era contigo
I who thought that it was you
Que merecía pasar el resto de mi vida
With whom I deserved spending the rest of my life
Hoy tengo claro que no es tan malo
Today it is clear to me that it is not so bad
Pasar la pagina y no tenerte a mi lado
Turning the page and not having you by my side

Y ya se quiero, te necesito
And I know already I love, I need you
Estar tranquila lo mejor y lo repito
Being at peace [is] better and I repeat
Miro adelante sin que me espante
I look ahead without feeling frightened
Que soy la reina fina y dulce como antes
Because I am the sweet refined queen I was before
[Bridge]

Tú y solo tú
You and only you
De las del cobre justo al tiempo pa' que no cayera yo
You showed your true self* just in time so that I would not fall
Afortunada las que no comimos cuento
Fortunate are we who did not fall for* the story
[Coro] [Chorus]

Mira que este corazón, mi pobre corazón
See this heart, my poor heart
Ya no me duele
It no longer hurts
Remendado de a poquito reparando este rotito
Gradually it mended, repairing this little hole
Ya no me duele
It no longer hurts
Mira que este corazón, palpita a millón
See this heart, it's going a million
Ya no te quiere
It no longer loves you
Ya te acordarás de mi…
You will remember me...
Porque todas estas cosas que me hiciste, y me dijiste
Because all of these things you did to me and said to me
No pensaste, y me mentiste y ya no creo más en ti
You did no think and you lied to me and I don't believe in you anymore

Ya no importa nada
Nothing matters anymore
Ya no quiero más jugadas ni sonrisas empastadas
I don't want anymore tricks or pasted on smiles
Eso sobra para mi
That is too much for me
[Ad Libs]

Mira que este corazón (ja!) , mi pobre corazón
See this heart (ha!), my poor heart
Ya no me duele (ya no me duele)
It no longer hurts (It no longer hurts)
Remendado de a poquito reparando este rotito
Gradually it mended, repairing this hole
Ya no me duele (Ay, no me duele, no me duele)
It no longer hurts (Oh, it does not hurt, it does not hurt)
Mira que este corazón, palpita a millón
See this heart, it's going a million
Ya no te quiere (Na, na, na, na, na)
It no longer loves you
Ya te acordarás de mi, al verme partir
You will remember me, upon seeing me leave
Que un corazón herido es (un corazón perdido!)
Because a wounded heart is (an absent heart!)
Ay ay ay!

REPEAT

Un corazón perdido
An absent heart

This site is like cheap therapy. I can write whatever I want, and know that basically no one is going to read it. Who needs to pay someone when you can get the same thing for free on the net?!?! Ha--exactly.

So I moved into my place in Minneapolis. It's great. I live in a one-bedroom place in Como, like 8 blocks or so from campus. I LOVE living alone. I can do what I want, when I want, how I want, without any drama or someone bitching at me to do something. I'm a clean freak too so it's going to be a clean place all the time, because messes drive me crazy. I hate dirty dishes, and I hate them even more when they are piled up in the sink. I really don't know how people can live in messes, haha yeah I know I blog about random things, get over it.

So I went back to work at A&F, yeah idk why either. Don't ask. It's a job--that pays... albeit not well. Plus, it's super easy and there's basically NO responsibility. I could care less about the store half the time. If you want to steal, it's your life--not mine. Haha, plus it's fun checking out the people who shop there. Like yesterday por ejemplo....there was this couple in there. The one guy was browsing and was giving me dirty looks because his boyfriend kept looking over at me. Hahaha. Oh my life, why do I attract the taken ones?

Anyways, this week is going to be bitch ass cold. Bienvienidos a MN Ryan. Ughhh quiero volver a la Argentina. Por lo menos hace calor alla.

I have my LPE this week, so I'll let you know how that goes. I say you like people actually read this...haha. Tengo mucho nerviosimo.

Anyways, that's it...I have nothing else to do so I thought I'd write something. I should goto Target now...I need some crap. I'm in the mood to bake. Haha...oh my life.

So I haven't blogged since I was in Argentina...and where do I even begin to describe the experience?!?! One word can probably sum it up: Unbelievable. I can't believe it's done and over. 4.5 months just shot by...it literally FLEW by...with no chance of me slowing it down. Granted, I'm guilty of wanting the last few weeks and days to fly by because I was ready to get back to my life in the US of A. Which is fabulous by the way, you don't know how good you have something until you leave it, and let me tell you my American life is wonderful...it's simply fantastic, with no other words to describe it. It's not perfect, but it's suitable for me right now.

Sigh. I miss having a boyfriend, is that sad? Sort of, this summer was amazing...I always had someone there for me, and likewise I was there for him. I hate being alone, hate hate hate it. Yet, I have such a complex thinking that I'm not quite good enough for anyone...or that they aren't good enough for me. Ugh, I still have a few issues to work out. I finally rid my life of Matt. He's done, gone, forever. I have no temptation or urge to call him anymore. It's not fair to him or me, we both liked to fuck each other over. Well no mas. El relacionship es termino, fin, completo. Nada mas. It's good, really. Now I have to figure out whom I want...or if this person would still want me. Or do I go on the hunt for someone new...perhaps the person I have my eyes on? I don't know what the hell to do. But who does really?

Anyways, I finally live alone and it's fantastic. I love every minute of it. I can do what I want...when I want...with no drama. Well unless little delfi (my kitten) would like to bitch to me about something. However, I don't speak fluent cat...so I'm never quite sure what she's meowing at me for anyways. She is however, such a dollface. I love her to death already. It's sad how quickly something can steal a piece of your heart. She's lying here right now sleeping on my lap...I think she's actually sick with a kitty cold...I'll find out on monday when I'm taking her into the vet. Ohhhhh my life. Haha

I went out tonight with Kenzie and Jena...and had a BLAST. I love going out. There was a super cute boy I saw...but obviously was too shy to act on anything. I need to work on the confidence thing...slash mostly I fear rejection. I don't care when I'm drunk, but I wasn't drunk...so therefore I was afraid of being turned down. And in my head I picture this giant scene with people laughing at me, pointing at me as I like stumble and run away from the scene. Haha, isn't that pathetic? Yeah I know it is.

Anyways, I should probably goto bed now. As it is almost 3 am...but whatever, I don't have anything at all to do tomorrow except for laundry and I can do that whenever. Ohhh my life is so easy.

Chau Chau!!

So it's been quite a long time since I've updated. Lots of things have happened--well mostly good, some bad, some frustrating. I've fallen into a routine and life is for the most part good. My spanish, to be completely honest, is not improving much. I also feel like i'm losing English--in that I find myself searching for the correct word, because I find myself looking for the spanish word in my head. So it'll be interesting to come back to the states and seem stupid. Haha.

To be honest--i'm very excited to come home, for various reasons. The funniest thing that I miss would have to be my American sized coffee drinks. I would really like a Large Cold-Press Iced Coffee from Caribou. I would really like the ease of American life back, we don't worry about common things. I would like to blend into society again, I stick out like a sore thumb in this country. I'm a silly gringo. Haha.

I went away this weekend--to Cordoba and Rosario. That was a blast.

It's spring break in a week. I'm traveling the country.

Pero I have to pay attention in class now...i'll try to update more later.

An update in Pictures:





So I was terrified. Enough said--I'm not a country person. Riding the horse got better after awhile. I was just scared at first.





This is the Calatrava designed bridge here in Puerto Madero, for everyone that isn't from Milwaukee--Calatrava designed the new addition to the Milwaukee Art Museum.



It's the weekend! You know what that means. More escapades at the various clubs here in Buenos Aires, as well as more touristy sight-seeing! I want to hit up some museums and parks this weekend. Well until I write again!
Buen Dia!

It has been awhile since I've last updated. Well, it's because I've been busy with all that life is currently throwing at me. First of all, I am sick. Obviously...who would have guessed? I have the worlds worst immune system...and it's not used to the different strains of germs down here in Argentina. So I had a massive 101F fever on Wednesday and Thursday night. Now it's turned into just a basic cold with a cough--fun fun right? Hopefully this will be the only time that I get sick down here, as it's not my favorite thing to do. Granted, who actually enjoys getting sick?

Friday was a fun day. We went to an estancía, granted it was a tourist estancía but it was still almost like the real thing. An estancía is a very large farm/ranch in the Pampas. So we drove for about an hour and a half outside of Buenos Aires to get to the ranch. Let me tell you driving in this city is still terrifying. The highways aren't much better. Everyone flies by going at least 130km/h which is about 80mph. Granted, so would I if I were driving down here. I drive like that in the States so I would probably be worse down here. For the sheer fact that Laws down here seem to have a sense of fluidity to them, in that...they exist--but no one seems to follow them. This is probably because the lack of efficient enforcement methods and the sheer mistrust in the police department down here. So people basically take the law into their own hands, and the results are rather humorous but rather terrifying at the same time. People ignore the lane lines, the speed limit, they pass whenever they feel...well you get my point. It's scary.

So the Pampas reminds me a lot of home. It's basically the Midwest of South America. This estancía could have been in Minnesota or Wisconsin and I'd not have known the difference. We rode horses, went on carriage rides, ate asado. It was a nice escape to the countryside. I rode a horse and I was terrified. The pictures that people got of me on the horses are pretty much hilarious. I'm a city boy through and through, i'm not meant to do such things. But once in a while is okay by me.

It was for sure nice to return to Buenos Aires after the countryside. I love this city. I just wish I would get better NOW! Today we are going to the zoo and the botanical gardens...and then just randomly around the city to explore. And tonight we're going out. Obviously.

We're famous!




I love these girls.





This one pretty much sums up my saturday night. Started drinking at 11pm....got home at 7am...woke up at 3 pm...still drunk...and fell back to sleep until 6pm. Haha...I love my life. Now if I only didn't have class at 9am M-Th...

So...I got pick-pocketed. Damn this country--they target the tourists and the people who don't blend in. Me being one of them. It happened when Marcy and I were getting on the subte, a group of big guys like started a scene...pushing us in...distracting me...and then took my wallet from my FRONT pocket. These bastards are good at what they do. Luckily I only had 2 of my cards in there, and they were easy to cancel. It's just frustrating, because if my wallet wasn't safe in my front pocket of my jeans..where is it safe??

So sigh, I'm now a member of the official "I got fucked by Buenos Aires" club. I'd carry a membership card...but it'd probably be stolen, or pick-pocketed. Haha. It just means that today I get to go buy a new wallet, and hope that my cards are rushed to my parents house fast so that they can be sent to me asap.

So other than that bit of exciting but annoying news, nothing more has happened really. I miss people from home--I didn't realize how much until I skyped them the other night. Also, I think my mom constantly worries about me here. The fact that I was already pick-pocketed doesn't ease her fears either.

I think I'm getting sick. It's winter and my throat kills. It was 38 degrees last night...wtf..I didn't sign up for this crap. It better get warmer this week.

So I don't really have many new fun things to post. Right now is just all about re-adjusting my life schedule from Minneapolis time to Buenos Aires time. They do everything so much later than we do. Except sleep, I don't know when they squeeze that in--but I'd like to figure that out, and soon.

The one thing that freaks me out is this money situation, and the plethora of Fake bills. Marcy and Chelsea already got scammed with fake bills. So now every time we get money we all have to be 100% sure that the currency is real by checking the watermarks and security strip. It's just crazy...I never ever check this in the states..I just assume that it's all real. Mostly because if anyone counterfeited currency in the states they'd be locked away in jail for years upon years upon years...it just goes to show the trust we have in our government in the States--and the sheer lack of trust Argentines have in theirs.

The food is yum yum. I decided that I'm going to live off of this dolce de leche stuff--it's seriously an explosion of goodness with every bite. Although, on Saturday night I had a parilla...and we all ate some interesting things. Some of which included Liver, Kidney, Tongue, and this Sausage full of Coagulated Blood. The last one was not good, it kind of made me want to throw up when I cut into it, so I didn't try that one. Everything else wasn't so bad, they just had weird textures. I won't however be eating them again, once was enough.

Time to goto class. Yuck with this 9am business--there's no one up in this city yet. I woke up at 5am and heard people getting home from going out last night. I don't understand how they do it.

So I had to buy shoes today because I’m stupid and forgot to bring mine from home. Ugh, that only begins to describe the frustration of shoe shopping in this country. Okay first of all, no one has big feet. I’m a size 12/12.5 in the states which is a very common size for men. But here the common size is about a 9-10, as most of them are a lot shorter than we are. So I finally got to a store that sold shoes big enough, but obviously they only have Nike shox in my size…which aren’t cheap here…and they aren’t in the states either. So I dropped close to 115 on shoes, today. But I was so frustrated that I didn’t care…plus these will be great walking shoes for when we travel.

I still love this city. This experience proves that I need to live in a bigger city as soon as I graduate from the U. Also people who don’t goto the U of MN think it’s hilarious that we call it the “U”. Haha, oh minnesotanisms…also people have commented on our accents. I don’t even want to know what I sound like in Spanish.

Yesterday we had a really sad experience at a shopping mall. These three children came to our table and asked if they could take our leftover food. Of course we said yes, and started laugh-crying because we were just shocked. This girl couldn’t have been older than 7, and she had her brother who didn’t look more than 3. I wanted to buy them anything they wanted, but they walked away after we gave them our food and Lara got a happy meal from McD’s so she gave them her toy. It was horrible.

Marcy y Ryan life lesson number 1589: Little impoverished children will ask for food in mall food courts.

Points:
Buenos Aires: 10000000000000000000000000
Ryan y Marcy: 10

But we’re getting better at the game. Haha.

We also went to starbucks yesterday. It was sadly disappointing but I don’t really like starbucks in the states even so It was just comforting to be able to order in English, not that we’re here for that…we’re here to learn Spanish.

I’m very excited for the weekend. We have a super awesome group of people—so it’s going to be very fun to all go out together tonight.

Me amo Buenos Aires.

Life’s a game—and we’re losing.

So these past few days have been quite the struggle. Mostly in a good way, but we decided that we’re playing a game with Buenos Aires.—and Buenos Aires is winning. BY A LOT. I love it here, but the language barrier is a bitch. Hardly anyone knows well enough English to communicate with us when we don’t know the Spanish vocabulary word. Alas, it’s their country and their language…so I can’t complain.

We started class a lunes, y I placed somewhere in the middle of 1003 and 1004. Yeah, I would be awkward like that. So here’s the killer. I’m in Spanish 1004 SOLO. I’m the only student in my 1004 class. I HAVE A PRIVATE SPANISH PROFESSOR!!! It’s awesome, but HORRIBLE at the same time. I sat their the whole time today struggling to use what little Spanish I actually know, with no one to help me out…because I’m ALONE. It’s so crazy. I do think I’m going to learn a TON of Spanish though, so it’ll be worth it. Yo tiene tres horas a tarea está noche. Que malo. I have to catch up, and basically review Spanish 1003 in one night. Yep, that’s my life.

The city itself is amazing. Porteños are a proud people, and you can tell all around. They are gorgeous too, the men and women. They have a very European style, es tres chic. I’m going to go shopping probably tomorrow to try to buy some Argentine clothing so I’m not so obviously American.

Everyone from the program seems to be really awesome too, it’s going to be a very fun four months. There’s a few people from Illinois, New York, North Carolina, and California…plus us Minnesotans. We went out again last night, bar-hopping in Palermo…which is a super cute barrio of Buenos Aires. I did a few tequila shots, and didn’t die nor lose my pants…so I think I’m good. (Haha…inside joke)

Also their translations of English on menu’s are very funny sometimes. At the resteraunt we ate at last night, there was an entrée called “Chicken with Greenness”—What is greenness? Haha. The steak is as good as they said it would be, and they have this sauce called Salsa Golf, which is basically a premixed thing of Ketchup and Mayo. So healthy…NOT. Their eating schedule is very strange…nothing like we would ever do en los Estados Unidos. You have like nothing for breakfast which is fine by me, because I don’t eat breakfast at home anyways, then you eat a rather large lunch, and you eat a medium dinner at 10 at night. It’s very different but it works. The city is very night-orientated, and not morning orientated like most American cities. I think we should switch to their schedule…I prefer it much better than ours.

Okay, well this is a good enough update for now. I have to do this Spanish homework before I have my Art class at 4.

Ciao Ciao.

You know what they say about first impressions--well if you don't..it's that they last a lifetime. Buenos Aires is amazing. Granted, I could still be on the high of actually being here. The city itself is insane, it's large, noisy and knows how to party.

Yesterday I got settled in, I'm staying in the Sarmiento Suites, on Sarmiento a block from Florida--which is a pedestrian street. Florida is basically one huge market. You can get just about everything on Florida. Except a cell phone, haha. Well that's just our lack of the ability to speak decent spanish at this point. We tried to get a cell yesterday, but we were too worried that we were going to get ripped off by the salesperson. So we're getting one tomorrow, when the woman who organized our program is going to come with us to get them.

Last night was insane. Let me tell you...Argentines know where it's at--party wise. We started our night at this cute British-esque pub across the street from our apartment. We were basically the only ones in there so we got the royal treatment. Then we hailed a cab around 1am and went to Pacha. Yep...we didn't even start clubbing until 1am. It's awesome. Pacha is very expensive, or so it seemed. But it was totally worth it, go big or go home right? The music was amazing, the people were for the most part pretty, and the bartenders (except for this yatch at one of the bars) kept the drinks flowing. My drink of choice last night was a vodka y speed. Speed is an energy drink here, very similar to Red Bull. We stayed out until 5:30 in the morning. Where else can you do that?!

I'm off to go explore more of the city today.

Ciao Ciao.

So I’m about midway through one of longest days of travel I’ve ever had. I’m writing this on the plan en route to Buenos Aires, at this moment. As of right now the in-flight map is telling me that we are right over Cozumel & Cancun Mexico. I’ve been there before, and I saw the island where all of the resort hotels are located. It was pretty cool looking, because there were spotlights shining up at us.

I’m very tired, but can’t sleep. I don’t sleep well in an upright position. So we shall see if I eventually pass out from sheer exhaustion…and I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow too. We land in Buenos Aires at 9 am, and we’re taken to our campus and our apartments. Also some people that I met want to go out tomorrow night, and I’m totally game. You only live once, and who knows when or if I’ll be able to experience something like this again. I’m living off of pure adrenaline at the moment. It’s the only thing keeping me going at this point. I’m going to crash, and I’m going to crash hardcore tomorrow afternoon. Or, maybe I’ll just drink a bunch of espresso and be fine.

I’m nervous—but in an excited way. Mostly, I’m anxious about the language barrier—as I only know very basic Spanish, the first week or two is going to be a constant struggle of comprehension. It is sure to be frustrating, but in the end the frustration will be worth it when it’s turned into something valuable—the knowledge of another language.

It was sad to say goodbye to my parents, especially my Mom. She cried—I think more so than when I left for school the first time. We’re a lot closer now than we ever were at that point, so that may or may not make a difference. In Minnesota I called her just about everyday, sometimes more than that. So it’ll be quite a change to not talk to her just about everyday. But there’s always e-mail, skype and phone cards. I’ll have a cell phone in Buenos Aires, so she can call me on there too.

Four months. It seems like the longest short amount of time ever. If that statement made any sense to you, I give you props for having an understanding of my inner workings. I’m not an easy being to comprehend, so that always makes life an interesting little challenge. In reality I won’t really be gone that long of a time in the grand scheme of things. Four months is just a blink in the span of a lifetime. However, it is the longest time I’ve not seen my parents as well as not being in the United States. Culturally speaking, I feel as it’ll be quite a shocker to come back to the United States, and re-adjust once being gone for so long. But I’m sure it’ll be just like riding a bicycle—I’ll be able to hop right back onto the consumer driven lifestyle that we all lead. Let’s just hope we have a new President in the form of a Democrat. No more of this Republican garbage in the White House. We need change in the United States, and the Democrats can bring that to the table. We’re spending 70 billion dollars (or something close to that) in Iraq and Afghanistan in a war that was started over lies. While we have people at home who are starving, don’t have jobs, can’t afford gas, aren’t getting a good education, don’t have equal rights, and do not have healthcare coverage. Now—how can a decent person look at all of these problems and not think there’s something very wrong with this picture. Alas, change is coming—I can feel it.

I had a realization today during my flight from Houston, just how beautiful the world we live in actually is. As I zoomed past beautiful white puffy clouds in a sunny sky, I thought wow—life is good, and I’m lucky. Very lucky, to be able to do the things that I’m able to do. I don’t think I thank people enough. I need to start doing so, and what better time than while abroad, whilst I’m “finding myself.” The whole idea seems perfect and ideal to me, so why not.

Sigh, I’m only 2 hours into the flight and already bored out of my mind. Only 8 hours to go.

So my life basically consists of doing nothing these days. I'm not really complaining. . . I'm just not used to it. I always keep myself busy...and now I have nothing to do. SO basically I just lounge around and watch a LOT of tv. Yesterday I watched six hours of Bravo & Project Runway. I think six hours is a bit excessive, but oh well. I made dinner for mi madre and she loved it. I do miss her when I'm up at school. I wish she'd come visit me more often, she doesn't drive me crazy like my father.

Today I went to visit the Grandparents. It was fun. I hadn't seen them in over five months, and a lot can change in that time. I don't think they are doing well health-wise. BUT they seem to be in good spirits and that can do a lot to change things. It's rather cute because they seem a lot happier now, they were bickering a lot back and forth, when my grandfather wouldn't stop drinking so much. Now he seems to have cut back after we all yelled at him, and it's great. Haha, old people in love are just too cute for words. I can't imagine the bond you'd have with someone after spending 52 years of your life with them. I simply can't imagine, but I look forward to having someone to spend this time with.

Tomorrow I have the dentist, whoo hoo. NOT. Ugh. BUT I get to drag my mother shopping, which means Ryan get's new things. Haha.

Also I need to figure out my money situation. It's rather grim. I overdrafted like six times. I officially hate TCF, XCEL Energy, and Comcast. They cost me about 300 dollars. Fuck. My. Life.

So I've been back in Burlington for just about five days now. Why did I miss this? Oh wait, I really didn't. I missed my family and my friends from here, but I simply did NOT miss this god forsaken town. From now on, they can come visit me in Minneapolis if they want to see me.

There's simply NOTHING to do around here! I don't understand why anyone would want to live here. For example, my day today consisted of me waking up at noon. I showered, experimented with space saving bags, watched bravo, and finally went to Fred's, JJ'z and Walmart with Short and Sam. Exciting eh? NOT! I guess I'm completely different from just about everyone who lives in these parts...

I'm awake at 2 a.m. because I cannot sleep in my bed at home. I miss Minnesota. I miss people in Minnesota. They know who they are. I feel awful about how I left, I just hate goodbyes. I knew it would be hard, so I did it quick with everyone--like a band-aid, I ripped it off so it wouldn't hurt quite as badly.

It's crazy to believe that in 9 days time I'll be in Buenos Aires, Argentina. What?!?! I know, it's crazy. Hopefully I'll have that experience everyone wishes to have, the "finding of oneself". Mostly I wish this, because well simply I'm lost. I feel lost. I don't know my place in this world. I haven't the slightest clue what I'm supposed to do.

Sigh, another emo post. Tomorrow is going to likely be just as bad. Although I'm going to go see my Grandparents. It may or may not depress me. They are getting old, and aren't the same. But I'll likely have to do some retail therapy following this to make myself feel better. Also, I want to suck up as much of America as possible before I leave, which means spending money on silly things that I do not need. But in reality who doesn't need 34 A&F t-shirts? Ha, I may or may not have an addiction. Hey at least it's not crack or heroin. At least I can't die from my A&F addiction, well...unless the canoe or moose hanging from the ceiling were to fall on me while I was shopping--but let's not think about that.

So I'm off to bed to dream happy things about happy people that I miss more than they know.

Whoo! I'm finally done with that disaster of a class. It was not cute. Lol. The final was kind of hard, mostly because I didn't prepare for the right cultural things that were on the final, with the exception of the essay about the Tango. Thank you Janae.

I got my living arrangements for Argentina today!! I don't know my roommate yet, but I'm living in an extended stay hotel/apartment in straight up downtown Buenos Aires. I'm so excited. I want to GO NOW!!!

Two weeks from today and I'll be there!!!!

Now I just have to work today and tomorrow, and finish packing up my life....which if you know me will be no easy task. It should go fast. I just hate packing up my life and moving it. But there's something exciting about knowing that things are changing. Whether or not they change for the better is up in the air. Hopefully things will be better, but I do know that I had a blast living here with these guys. But I'm excited to have my own place, and the privacy that comes with it.

The title of this blog fits on multiple levels. It's finally wednesday. This week is creeping by, it may just feel as such because I haven't been getting sufficient sleep, and the sleep I have gotten hasn't been entirely restful. As I've tossed and turned, while being awoken by rather strange dreams. I never remember many details of them, I just know they are vivid and emotional. Which likely reflects the state of my existence at the moment. Vivid and emotional, emotional being the kicker. I have about 3 days left in Minneapolis until I return in the span of about 5 months. It's crazy, I've lived here for 2 years now, and loved just about every minute of it. I'm leaving my home, and my loved ones who call it home. Now my family is a different story, as they all live in Wisconsin, and in their absence my friends here have turned into a sort of pseudo-family. I'll miss everyone of them, probably more than they know.

Today I had an oral exam for my Spanish class. It went OKAY. I was surprisingly lucky to draw the two easiest categories. Even so I still get terribly nervous during Oral exams and tend to fuck up, but it's okay. It's done and over. Now I just have to get through my written final exam on Thursday and I'm home free.

After work, I was in the mood to pack, move things over and clean. So I did just that. There's a terribly gratifying feeling in cleaning something, especially when the thing is your new place. Granted, I'm cleaning it for Megan who is moving into it in my absence for four months, yet I still feel extremely self accomplished. Man, it was GROSS. I cleaned for an hour and I feel like I could have gone on and on had it not been so late. I don't know how people can live in such filth. Maybe my level of clean is just that much higher than the average college student, but I just don't get it. Even the shower was dirty, how can you expect yourself to get clean when the place that you get clean in is DIRTY? I don't get it.

Tomorrow's another day, and it holds nothing terribly exciting. I have a date with the Comcast cable man, whoo hoo. He's scheduled to come at any time between 1 and 4 which is lame. Can't he just give me a set time? Ugh. Oh well, I can go get more cleaning done, as well as sorting through what I'm keeping in the apartment, putting in storage and taking home with me. I also will hopefully see Jeff tomorrow night. We've both been so busy lately. Oh well. I'm going to go try to sleep now, hopefully after all the cleaning I've finally tired myself out enough. We'll see.